31 October 2014

Day 127: Preassure reaction to mind pattern

For couple of weeks I have been occasionally experiencing strange physical reaction in regards to certain mind pattern. The reaction manifests as s feeling of pressure or cramp, located under on the left (hearth) side of my body, in hight of the the third rib and vertically aligned with the nipple. The pressure point feels like it is around one centimeter under the skin with radius of about three centimeters. This pressure like feeling activates when I allow myself some sub/un conscious pattern of anxiety and it lasts for several minutes. It is in a way cool indicator of mind patterns that allows me to become aware of them and deal with them. This feeling is a bit annoying since it feels like someone is pressing my chest and I do not want that. So I will look into it in order to remove the mind pattern that triggers this reaction.

I noticed that this reaction is triggered by very subtle, hard to define thoughts of various origin, but generally a sort of anxiety or fear. It triggers most often in the gym where I exercise regularly each morning at 6am. There is not many people there at such early hour and sometimes if I arrive right when they open, I am totally alone. Despite that my mind still manages to provide me some kind of worrying thoughts that develop feeling of anxiety and then also this pressures manifestation occurs.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to allow my mind patterns for so long time that they integrated deep into the physical tissue of my human body and became quantum physical reactions that are very hard do identify and stop. I realize that procrastination with allowing of some thought results in a very nasty consequence thus I commit myself to stop my thoughts immediately when they emerge.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to indulge in the feelings of energies, especially energies of warmth, softness and sexual energies. I realize that if I allow energies they become directive principle of my life and suppress my self-expression. Thus I commit myself to practice moderation in activities like resting and watching movies.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to think that is is sufficient to do daily vlogging and that blogging in not necessary to effectively advance in my process of self-realization. I realize that writing is the only tool with the power of slowing myself down and becoming aware of all tiny subconscious patterns that are necessary to be walked. Thus I commit not only to record one vlog per day but to also write one blog per day.

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